jersey score

ever since my last show ended, ive been doing bit parts in terms of meeting co-actors. i stopped being choosy with the male leads that i get. i dont need to get to know them as long as i used to (which took months, before).

now, im actually just satisfied with cute, not fat, not out/halata. and then hell with everything else. it's just a one time thing.

i used to be so paranoid. now, i think it's down to 90%. still much but... pwede na i guess. gets me projects.. weekly.

i used to say NO to only one love scene (ie one night stands), making pretty lame excuses that it should last at least twice. (there's a pseudo-friendship if you do it again). now, i just dont care.

so what happened to me? i dont f-ing know.

im smart, careful, scared, paranoid... WAS. i stand corrected. Fuck.

dramatic sequence

im sad. i think ive accepted that. im just trying to busy with work.. to forget. to not feel this.

i realized that i just turned down two leading men.. both good looking, both respectable, both in love with me. yet, i said no. i couldnt handle another love team now...

and yet, im sad.

fuck.