First off, i just want to say that this is not a sad, sappy post. It's just a realization of sorts that i just want to put down on writing and make a feeble attempt at blogging yet again.
I've come to realize that i like spending time alone. I usually don't go around looking for company. Be it a friday or a saturday night, i'm not those types who feel depressed when home on a weekend. I like staying home. Maybe a late night party here and there but it doesnt have to be a weekly thing. Doesnt even have to be monthly.
And even though im in a relationship, i dont crave that constant companionship of spending all our free time together. Maybe im just weird. Like if i have errands to do, my partner always wants to accompany me. I, on the other hand, would rather do it alone since im faster that way and i wouldnt have to think if im inconveniencing him/her. Also, i wouldnt volunteer to accompany them on their errands. Sure, sometimes i'd offer to drive them to wherever they might go but to standby while they do their stuff is just not me. Waste of time, id say.
Maybe ive been so good at placing this shield that i dont need anyone in my life to make me happy. Except maybe family and that one person whom im destined to be with (yes i believe in destiny, but thats another topic). so yeah, if i see my friends in all these parties and if i dont get invited in some, i dont get offended as much as it should have. maybe a quick "oh." and then nada. like it didn't happen at all.
Having said that, im now dating someone who i can be alone with. And it really makes me happy. He doesnt go out as much too. we can stay in a room together which is just great. sometimes we go out and nothing matters except the two of us. to top it all off, he doesnt offer to accompany me to my errands. which is a good thing because i dont have to turn him down. maybe this time itll work. maybe this time, i'll win.
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Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won't hurry away
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win
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that song is just so gay. just sayin.
