So i was trying to read a script at Starbucks a couple of nights ago. Then suddenly i saw this quite nerdy guy a few table away from me. He was doing his work on his mac. so i let him. and he let me be.
maybe an hour into concentrating with my work, came his "date". a tall, kinda dark, kinda good looking guy with a nice body. and boy were they playing around. flirting. they would joke around, laugh a lot. all these while the nerdy guy was trying to work, and the hunky guy trying to make himself cute to the nerdy guy.
and man was i jealous. how could this nerdy guy get someone like him?! and more so, fuck theyre in love. and i kinda knew that feeling before. that the hunky guy doesnt mind that the other guy's nerdy and body's out of shape. or that the nerdy guy doesnt mind that the hunky guy's probably a happy-go-lucky without ambition and just horny 24/7. fuck those things, because theyre in love. they laugh genuinely, enjoy each other's company, and in the end, theyre happy.
or so i thought. i think hunky guy saw me staring too long. and he caught me. he smiled. i looked away. then looked back again. and there were a few (wait, a lot) more times he'd smile back, and this time, i didnt look away.. not for a few seconds at least. wait, was he cheating?! haha didnt want to be a part of that so i kept on reading my lines.
then he turned. and mouthed something. i have no idea what. (i was in earphones, and i really cant just read what he mouthed). this happened maybe twice. i even caught him doing a selfie, trying to include me in the background. for real? cheating right in front of your bf?
i got turned off. and went back to working. eventually removed my earphones. and trying to eavesdrop on what they were talking about. nerdy was about to leave, hunky didnt want to yet. then nerdy said "ok lang, stay ka muna. di naman talaga ako ang hinihintay mo dito e". laughing. not mad, but laughing. they way you say to a friend who you accompanied into some bar.
they went out. but stayed at the tables outside. i was going to leave soon though too. went to the restroom first. and as i was on my way to the door, i saw nerdy and hunky outside in front of the door, pushing each other foolishly. when they say me near, nerdy ran away, leaving hunky by the door. as i went out, hunky was looking at my eyes, i was looking at his. and the torpe (or maybe stupid) side of me just looked at his eyes. no nothing. until i got a cab and went home.
i dunno why i thought about sharing this. it's not even funny. do i hope to see hunky again? yes. i even thought about working at that starbucks again the same day of the week just to see if he does too. for what? sex? relationship? i dont know. just the thrill maybe?
and i think i've given up on finding love. which is good, because ive got tons of work to do nowadays. i mean, i hope it comes. but im tired of hoping, looking, and hoping someone is the one. ive been victim to 'great on phone/text, good in person' but somehow, it just doesnt last. it's quite painful to date a pretend artista that's why.
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