Battlefield

"... we seemed like a good idea..."

So i've been liking this new lea michele song. and ive been trying to see how it applies to my artista life. and ive been trying to make pilit where it should fit since i really like the song. and then it hit me. now. damn. as in this.

we've met through the weirdest of circumstances. in a threesome. i was with someone i know, he brought him in. and damn. cutest guy ive ever seen. i was like "why is this guy doing threesomes??" so anyway, while we were doing it, we were trying to whisper sweet nothings to each other. kinda like dating during the sex act. giving each other hints that we wanted to do it with each other alone. or that we'll still see each other next time. we whispered. we kissed. and then kissed each other a whole lot more. all these while the bottom guy is doing stuff to us.

so anyway, i really wanted him. and somehow, i got how to contact him. and so i did. and we texted. found out we both liked each other. found out he had a girlfriend. which was in a weird way, really ok for me (more on this some other time). we agreed to meet.

we met a few days after. so fucking cute. so fucking hot. (yeah, cute doesnt always equate to hot and vice versa). and so fucking nice. the way he smiled. the way he kissed. the way he hugged. and other stuff too. he did something he has never done. and promised we'll see each other another time for sure.

i was getting those stupid butterflies. eeek. he isnt the texting type. he isnt also the talk-on-the-phone stuff. so i dont know where to place myself around him. i still call and text him everyday. but not too imposing. id even call him when i work late at night, and talk for like 30 mins or so. he's making me "crave" for him for lack of a better term. and i realized, it's not the sex i want. i just want to see him everyday, look at his face when he smiles, and then kiss him all day.

we tried to work at a coffeshop a few days ago. damn. butterflies again. and for the first time, i was comfortable having a "date". it didnt even matter someone recognized me. i was smiling like a puppy. he was too. our feet were fooling around under the table. gawd. wanted to lean over and plant a kiss. or hold his hand while i worked.

so anyway, i got into talking with this friend about him. his first comment: "bad idea". because of the girl friend thing. i told you it was ok with me. but somehow, that "bad idea" comment lingered. was i setting myself up for another heartbreak. it looks as if though im the one running after him, and i become happy if he lets himself get caught sometimes.

we talked today. finally had the guts to admit that i miss him. (we've said we liked each other a hundred times already). but missing him added some drama into it. and then i realized i needed to step back. i might be getting myself into a bigger heartbreak than before.

but a part of me doesnt want to give up because i know i havent done everything i can. but he isnt doing anything too, which sucks if you think about it. so the "i miss you" bit is the last of that kind. will just text him next time im free, and hopefully he is too.

get me out of this phase please. not used to all these drama and reflection.

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It's easy to fall in love
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath
Forgotten who we first met
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie

You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield

We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea

No blood will spill if we both get out now
Still it's hard to put the fire out
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Feelings are shifting like the tide
And I think too much about the future
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie

You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield

We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea