Next to me.. or Not

You won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

You won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
and I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
cause i'll find him, i'll find him next to me

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, will find him next to me

When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him you'll find him next to me

Never in my life have i met someone like him
I'm blown away by his love for me
if you ever wonder where it is you'll find him
you will find him, you will find him next to me



...... OR NOT. jeesh.

Of Disclaimers

I hate disclaimers. I hate explaining. I have that "i dont care" attitude usually. But people are asking..

My posts are not chronological. My posts are not current. When something pops up (among other things), I write it down. If i finish, I publish. if not, i publish some other time.

jeesh. I hate explaining myself.

Open House

Been trying something new. Im now "dating" someone.. by date i mean we go to certain places, hold hands at times, eat out (or in), cuddle a bit, and have lots of sex. but we also get to have sex with other people as well. trying out this "open relationship" thing, or is there such a thing?

im not quite sure im willing to dive into a relationship again. seeing that the "perfect" one just failed. i think im still not over the loss. maybe because i almost gave up a year ago. then went back. then got put down. maybe i shouldnt have made the trip back.

or i could just go back to dating girls again. but that would be just fooling myself, and fooling her. i recently talked to someone, our kind dates girls from time to time to get that "feeling". of being able to hold someone's hand while walking, of kissing and hugging in malls, restaurants, etc.

anyway, i digress. so open.. basically, we can have sex with anyone we want, just make sure to be honest and tell each other. perfect for disaster, right? but we're not a WE yet. and im not willing to give it up just yet... again...

so yeah, we do. we tell each other. no jealousy at my end. nor his (i think). then one day, we were supposed to meet. for some reason, taping got extended so i wasnt available. then he hooked up with former one-time-on-screen-partner.

somehow something doesnt quite feel right..

1. im not used to this
2. im starting to have deeper feelings for him
3. i didnt like that i was replaced right there and then
4. it was a former one time on screen partner
5. all of the above

so even though i was having sex with someone that time too, somehow i think he one-upped me.. and he's enjoying that im "jealous". which makes me wonder, will he do it again so ill get jealous and want an exclusive thing?

so anyway. i dont know.


--------------

Are you in?Livin' in sin is the new thing, yeahAre you in?I am countin'
1, 2, 3Not only you and meGot one eighty degreesAnd I'm caught in between
Countin' 1, 2, 3Peter, Paul, and MaryGettin' down with 3PEverybody loves countin'

Just so you know..

... im still alive

... im now a single artist

... im playing around... again... safely...

... im too busy with my career

... there's no love team to speak of. or any romantic movies coming soon

... ill write more when i have time

... time to be completely honest. maybe itll spell the difference

... i dont know if there'll be a next time

... just so you know


*** kudos to those who can identify the porn star above. been waiting for his "comeback"

Self Es-Steam Room

The sauna and steam room of this particular spa never fails to provide some action which makes my every visit to the spa, shall we say, memorable. For some reason, i get to cum at least once every time i visit that place.

So this one time i went back to the spa, feeling horny and adventurous. like what i always do, i come in, shower, and start my massage a few mins after. i prefer to do all "extracurricular" activities after the massage unlike some who play before AND after (or maybe also during, but that's another story). so i had massage which was ok. not good, just ok. and clean, no "accidental" brushing on the balls, no placing my foot and hand on their crotch, no nipple play. didnt even get a hard-on. at times, id prefer this but at that time, i wished he played with me.

so after the massage, i went into the shower, then sauna, steam room, and all the places in between. looking at the different guys draped in just towels, going from one room to the other, playing some sort of tag. i fancied no one. then this one guy was "passable". he looked kinda late 30s, got a little bit of a tummy, but toned arms and chest. so pwede na. but he wasnt making a move. and im not one to make a move also. mahirap na. might get punched. haha so even if there were times that only the two of us were left, wala. nada. zilch. sometimes, id catch him stare at me but he'll quickly look the other way when i notice. so cmon, i just want to cum.

i then transferred to the dry sauna. there were 2 guys inside, both maybe in their 40s. one was regular looking, and the other had thinning hair but had a kick ass body. so i was just standing by the door, with my back towards them. then i suddenly heard ruffling sounds and moaning. when i looked around, regular guy was fondling thinning hair guy. i leaned back and watched them. thinning hair guy suddenly reached for dick and started to fondle me. but i wasnt getting turned on. so stepped out.

then i saw this quite chubby guy, chinese looking, with really rough skin on the face. and even with all these flaws, he was very confident. when i entered the steam room, his right leg was up the seat, exposing his dick. he then began to stroke himself off while looking at me. i stared at him. he then told me to follow him to the shower room,  i declined and went out.

i met another chinese guy, this time tall, thin, and with a smooth face. i settled on him. he reached for my dick and played with it. i reached over for his and he wasnt hard. i was beginning to get hard. he quickly went down and sucked me. he was quite good. i started fucking his mouth and he seemed to enjoy it. there were a lot of times someone would go near and watch and we'd both stop. we didnt want an audience. he was in no mood for a threesome.

whenever someone would linger and we couldnt do it, he would kiss me. kiss my neck, my back, suck my nipples. im just loving the attention. chubby guy would come once in a while to check on me but hey, im not going back to him. sorry, i know u saw me first but youre just not my type. so eventually, someone took the role of our "watcher", warning us if someone is coming. at least he got a free show.

so thin chinese guy sucked me good. and i was about to cum. he told me he wanted me to cum in his mouth. he also didnt want to cum yet, figured he wanted to play after his massage. so i started to fuck his mouth hard while someone watched us. then i started shooting inside his mouth. he took every drop and then spit it out. but he wasnt done, he sucked my dick again, milking it to the very last drop.

and after ive recovered, all he said were "sarap" and "thanks". i thought i should be the one thanking him but hey, guess he wanted me too.

we then showered separately. although he tried to get inside my cubicle but i told him off. and when i was getting dressed to leave, he approached me and said thank you again. man, this guy really wanted me. and a polite one at that. so thanks, liam. haha :)