Looking for My Zero.. or my Jude

I've been binge - watching this series called "Hit The Floor" during the holidays. It's basically a show about basketball, and cheerdancers, and all in between. There are more sex scenes than what you see in Grey's Anatomy. It's their way of saying 'i love you', 'i miss you', ' i care for you' or even just 'hey'. haha im not complaining though, the bodies on display are a treat. and the lies, alliances, and back stabbing would rival that of "Scandal" and any typical pinoy soap, without being overly dramatic (which i like, to be honest). keeps the story moving fast.


and.. to top it all off. there's a gay couple. which i became instantly a fan of. and how their story started, and developed, and how they became strong. what was nice was that they werent introduced as 'gay characters'. it just sort of happened. Zero (haha my next dog is going to be named Zero) - the good looking jock, and Jude - the boy-next-door agent. Jude always had Zero's back, as his agent. but i was quite surprised it came to that extent. to my delight, of course. Zero, was initially holding back (being in the closet), but had a what-the-fuck moment and kissed Jude in front of the cameras.

I can't help it but feel like i wish i had my own Zero. Having the cool guy attitude towards all of it, someone to tone down all the drama this world has, and make me feel safe with everything. And with that face and body to boot, seems awesome! Then i realize, im Zero. Im the one who cant go all out, and the one who wants to keep it hush hush. Im the one who wants to remain hidden, selfish enough for making my exes do it, and the one who has a who-gives-a-fuck attitude when it comes to relationships. Maybe i need a Jude and someone to push me whenever i need pushing. or even when i dont think i need to be pushed.

and then they have these lines... that in a weird way, seems sappy and sweet. haha

hay. one can only dream. and then make one's own story.