Waste

Am i wasting my time?

Sometimes id like to exert effort. Sometimes id like to show i care. Sometimes i like to be less mechanical, less planned. And when i do that, it's like letting my heart out a little. I become vulnerable. 

But i get more depressed when i do so. I do something, of course i except something back. And the few times i do it, i dont get it. 

Sometimes I think i want to go back to my old self. Enjoy today. Enjoy the moment. Expect nothing. Exert no effort. So when something good comes along, effect doubles. And when nothing comes along, steady.

But this is me just being ranting. Half serious. Half rambling. 

Am i wasting my time?

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Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red?
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again

Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel
I just hit the floor, don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason
Let's make the call and take it all
I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time again, woah again