rape scene

orgy.... check

sex in public..... check

today, i was licked, jacked and sucked by 6 different guys. i did not reciprocate. i was just sitting there getting "used". then i stood up. they all continued "using" me.

they were a variety. stand outs:

1. late 30s to early 40s, 6ft, big thick dick, knew how to suck well

2. 20s, around 5', lean developed body, 8in dick

sarap. 

what am i doing with my life/career.. this is not good. 

jersey score

ever since my last show ended, ive been doing bit parts in terms of meeting co-actors. i stopped being choosy with the male leads that i get. i dont need to get to know them as long as i used to (which took months, before).

now, im actually just satisfied with cute, not fat, not out/halata. and then hell with everything else. it's just a one time thing.

i used to be so paranoid. now, i think it's down to 90%. still much but... pwede na i guess. gets me projects.. weekly.

i used to say NO to only one love scene (ie one night stands), making pretty lame excuses that it should last at least twice. (there's a pseudo-friendship if you do it again). now, i just dont care.

so what happened to me? i dont f-ing know.

im smart, careful, scared, paranoid... WAS. i stand corrected. Fuck.

dramatic sequence

im sad. i think ive accepted that. im just trying to busy with work.. to forget. to not feel this.

i realized that i just turned down two leading men.. both good looking, both respectable, both in love with me. yet, i said no. i couldnt handle another love team now...

and yet, im sad.

fuck.

drama queen

so it was 1230 am. was still "memorizing my lines"

SMS received from drama queen. Saying hi... which eventually meant he wanted to come over (to talk). So sige, allowed him.

He arrived. He's still with his dysfunctional boyfriend of 5 years (ie. they weren't even having sex for a long time now). He says it's all magulo blah blah blah (shouldve seen this as a sign)

He wanted to watch porn. So we did.

He wanted to touch me. So I let him.

He wanted to suck me. So I made him.

After 15 minutes, he wanted to stop. He says he's still in love. And he was teary eyed. He was trying to explain that it didnt matter that they weren't having sex or that their relationship is crap. He still loved him (while holding my thing).

I was trying my best not to laugh. And it took more effort not to pity him.

Being the "great actor" that I am, "it's ok. i understand. just text when you get home."

I should win an award. Best villain. Haha.

soap opera

the past few weeks have been like the final two weeks of a soap opera. and last night was the grand finale. so many stuff happened these past few weeks that i dont even know where to start.

fell asleep on my coach. love team slept over. then i heard the doorbell. it's 3am.

then like being in a dream, or nightmare really, comes law student. damn. fuck. shit. stupid. damn again. this. is. not. happening.

everything was a blur. but bottomline, i dont know how, the loveteam is still standing, maybe stronger than before, but im still unsure about it.

damn. still.

tell you about the other episodes on my next post. grabe.



889 views?! hahaha thanks. comments (and followers would be nice too)

reformat

met up with the love team a few days ago to talk about our show. i thought we were going to part ways, say goodbye to the love team that has helped us get famous through the past few years. but no. he said, lets try to work this out.

so our show's going to be reformatted and relaunched. how? i dont know. but i have a funny feeling it still won't click.

and ive been telling others that the love team's off now. and that i dont like to have another love team. just one time (or many times). ok lang na regular show na lang.



ohh and thanks to the guys who viewed. pretty surprised at 65. credit goes to Nishiboy for posting my site. thanks

On this episode

Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Today, i played a law student.

And he was GOOD.

Spin - Off

Im already assuming the show has ended. But somehow, it keeps on coming back. like having a resurrection of some sorts. But i know it's still the same show, same characters, same storyline, same scene. nothing has really changed. so why do another, much less a spin off?

But i guess denial is working. im denying the ratings are going down. im denying that there's a problem with characters (ME..). so since im not facing it, nothing's really happening.

  ABIG bahala na to me.

Im already starting to audition for another show(s). or let others audition to be my co-stars. but these won't materialize. hanggang commercials na lang muna siguro ako. haha

On the Verge of..

I think my loveteam's going to be separated soon. It's just a matter of time.

After almost 4 years, we're going our separate ways. Primarily, it's my fault. Been getting partnered with other leading men and women for different projects. He stuck with me, and i always went back. But i think the loveteam has lost its steam. I know it. He knows it. We just both hoped it would get better.

And after this loveteam, ayoko na ulit ng ganitong loveteam. It's just too hard. And it made me realize, i don't think i can sustain loveteams. Im always looking for something new, exciting. Before, i used to think i wanted stability. But then, i get bored. I start taking risks and new projects. And the loveteam crumbles.

It's just a matter of time. We're on the verge of.. you know. And to top it all off, i'm not THAT bothered. It SUCKS.