Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Restart

Restart. didnt know that hearing the sam smith song everyday is some sort of a foreshadowing for us.

said good bye to an old one. that one had it coming. been hurt a lot by that one. been hurt by you more than all my exes combined. and youre not even an ex. and unlike every other relationship or pseudo-relationship ive had, with that one, i just gave up. both hands up in the air. told him i couldn't take it anymore. ive known and accepted defeat. 

sometimes i still miss you, you know. because you really are just so close to me. because i saw you almost everyday. because we spent a lot of time together. but it always comes back to me how much you hurt me. and how stupid i was to let you do it. and do it again.

i was driving a while ago and thought of texting you. just to say i miss you. because i really do. 

but i know it wont do me any good. i thought about getting you back just to break your heart like you did mine but i know it wont do me any good. thought about getting back to the person who caused us trouble, but i know it wont do me any good. 

so yeah. i hope you have a good life. i hope i have a good one too. 

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Don't say it was a good thing
Don't say it was the right thing to do
Don't say it was the best thing for the both of us
When I'm the one playing the fool
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-- HA! totally caught you on this one. i couldve just let it pass. but i couldnt accept that youre breaking my heart and tell me it's for me. WTF.

one thing i hate the most is treating me stupid. and the hell with rationalizations. youre not fooling anyone but yourself. because any way you look at it, there is still a right and a wrong. the difference is, how much wrong we can take and make it appear right.

i made you choose. you wanted both. meaning i wasnt chosen. so i wanted out.

i hope that youll be honest from now on. honest to yourself mostly.


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What do you want from me when I just wanna restart
You keep coming back for me when you're the one who tore us apart
And the truth is I'm better on my own
And I'm the one to leave it apart
So let me restart