The Thrill of It All

So Sam Smith released a new album while I was away. And the feels I got from it is rather, interesting. It makes you feel heartbroken.. all over again. Even if you do not have a love life to speak of at the moment.

As cliche as it is, and everyone seems to be just jumping on the bandwagon, Too Good At Goodbyes really resonates. Ive been pushing people away for three years now. And everytime I do it, the less that I cry and the quicker the tears dry.

As I was talking to someone recently, I have come to the realization that the words "I Love You" has lost its meaning, and its weight, to me. People have been saying it so loosely, that Ive managed to say it back loosely as well. Love, in the truest sense of the word, is something one fights for. You fight to stay together amidst all. Pride down. Complete trust in the other. But, sadly, no one, at least for the last few years, has meant it. And neither have I, I guess.

So it'll take a lot more for me to invest on someone. Invest time, and feelings, and all that sort. And IF, and that's a big IF, someone is able to shatter all these walls that I've built, then I guess he's worth letting in. But otherwise, me talking to different people, is just for the thrill of it all.



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I know you're thinkin' I'm heartless
I know you're thinkin' I'm cold
I'm just protectin' my innocence
I'm just protectin' my soul

I'm never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
'Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I'm never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt

And every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true